Thoughts and Reflections

"

Last night a man asked me for a dollar as I left the subway on my way home. I gave him one.

He then proceeded to start talking to me and followed me for ten minutes as I tried to walk home. He ignored my repeated attempts to part ways and made comments about my body, his body and allude to us having sex. He asked personal questions about my life. He asked if I was married. I told him that I had a boyfriend, not because I owed him any answer, but my past experience has shown that these type of men, when hearing you are ‘taken’ often will leave you alone out of respect, not for you of course, but for the man who already ‘has’ you.

He walked all the way to the block I lived, talking away, moving closer to my side while I clutched my keys, splayed out between my fingers in one pocket and my cell phone in the other, mind frantically going over my options to get out of this situation. How to get away from this man without angering him. How to get into my apartment without him seeing where I lived.

When I turned the corner of my block I saw that the bodega was open. I told him I had to go to the store and said, again, good night. He followed me into the store, where with witnesses and the store owner who knows my face I had to courage to tell him to stop following me. That I didn’t want him to know where I lived. To go away.

He called me a bitch.

The store owner made him stay in the store long enough for me to dart across the street, duck into my apartment, and lock the door behind me.

I’ve spent most of today going over in my head what I did wrong to get into this situation.

I was stupid to give him a dollar. To speak to him after. To let him walk with me so far. To be so concerned with being polite.

But what that really boils down to is that I, my entire life, have been told that being a woman in public is asking for attention, and once received it is my fault in some way.

I don’t owe anybody conversation, my number, my time. It’s not a complement.

The truly insidious thing about harassment is that in the moment, the potential violence, quiet, persistent and vague threat combine with a world of people telling you that if something bad happens to you it’s YOUR fault. The conditioning women receive to be ‘nice’, be polite, smile for goodness sake (lest, horrors of all horrors we become that horrendous monster, a bitch). All this is why we accept being uncomfortable, being afraid, why we consider how our keys could be used as a weapon.

The man called me a bitch, and my biggest regret today is that I wasn’t a bigger one.

"
A friend posted this on Facebook yesterday. Personally, I am so sick of rape culture and what it’s doing to us. (via thearetical)

(via moolisstagram)

— 4 months ago with 92110 notes
dastaanewatan:

Pakistani girls, Karachi, 1953.

dastaanewatan:

Pakistani girls, Karachi, 1953.

(via uroooooj)

— 5 months ago with 593 notes
"Maybe he’ll convert for me"
Muslim Girl Proverb   (via keywrites)

(Source: niqabisinparis, via emaanqureshi)

— 5 months ago with 1151 notes
"Tupac died at 25. If Malcolm X died at 25 he would have been a street hustler named Detroit Red. If Martin Luther King died at 25 he would’ve been known as a local baptist preacher. And if I had died at 25 I would’ve been known as a struggling musician. Only a sliver of my life’s potential."

Quincy Jones (via uzowuru)

Wow

(via xxvalleygirlxx)

(Source: sunflobrwn, via pessimisticallyanoptimist)

— 5 months ago with 17691 notes

Can I just say graduation is becoming far too real and I am just not ready to face the world yet?

But at the same time, I am so done with this shit and I can’t wait to graduate.

Can I just find some middle ground please? Like a job or something…

— 5 months ago
"You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it."
Albert Einstein (via perfect)

(Source: fearlessnotreckless, via pessimisticallyanoptimist)

— 5 months ago with 73068 notes
"When you’re feeling overwhelmed and your body is giving you signs that you’re overdoing it, stop, breathe, and remember one thing: Everyone else can wait. Fall in love with you. Love, support, validate, and nourish a relationship with yourself. Give yourself what so many of us are trying to get from others and just watch how much the world steps up to support you."
Alexis Jones, I Am That Girl (via moolisstagram)
— 5 months ago with 18 notes

newsweek:

Samuel L. Jackson Performs Slam Poem About “Boy Meets World” (by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon)

(via theatlantic)

— 5 months ago with 3017 notes
theatlanticcities:


The substantial and growing gap between the rich and everyone else is increasingly inscribed on our geography. There have always been affluent neighborhoods, gated enclaves, and fabled bastions of wealth like Greenwich, Connecticut; Grosse Pointe, Michigan; Potomac, Maryland; and Beverly Hills, California. But America’s bankers, lawyers, and doctors didn’t always live so far apart from teachers, accountants, and small business owners, who themselves weren’t always so segregated from the poorest, most struggling Americans. My father, a factory worker, raised his family in suburban New Jersey just around the corner from my uncle, who had a management position as the head of research and development at Colgate Palmolive. But that kind of world has disappeared today. As the sociologists Sean Reardon and Kendra Bischoff noted in their 2013 study of economic segregation in America, “During the last four decades, the isolation of the rich has been consistently greater than the isolation of the poor. “

-The U.S. Cities Where the Rich Are Most Segregated From Everyone Else
Dark blue = Metro areas where the wealthy are the most isolated
Yellow = Metro areas where the wealthy are more mixed in or integrated.

theatlanticcities:

The substantial and growing gap between the rich and everyone else is increasingly inscribed on our geography. There have always been affluent neighborhoods, gated enclaves, and fabled bastions of wealth like Greenwich, Connecticut; Grosse Pointe, Michigan; Potomac, Maryland; and Beverly Hills, California. But America’s bankers, lawyers, and doctors didn’t always live so far apart from teachers, accountants, and small business owners, who themselves weren’t always so segregated from the poorest, most struggling Americans. My father, a factory worker, raised his family in suburban New Jersey just around the corner from my uncle, who had a management position as the head of research and development at Colgate Palmolive. But that kind of world has disappeared today. As the sociologists Sean Reardon and Kendra Bischoff noted in their 2013 study of economic segregation in America, “During the last four decades, the isolation of the rich has been consistently greater than the isolation of the poor. “

-The U.S. Cities Where the Rich Are Most Segregated From Everyone Else

Dark blue = Metro areas where the wealthy are the most isolated

Yellow = Metro areas where the wealthy are more mixed in or integrated.

(Source: thisiscitylab, via theatlantic)

— 5 months ago with 196 notes
grave-at-trenzalore:

followingthedeer:

sainthannah:

heatherbat:

stunningpicture:

‘Cause people seem to only post the 20-something Audrey Hepburn.

Audrey Hepburn was the granddaughter of a baron, the daughter of a nazi sympathizer, spent her teens doing ballet to secretly raise money for the dutch resistance against the nazis, and spent her post-film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts.
…and history remembers her as pretty.

AND HISTORY REMEMBERS HER AS PRETTY

note

this is the first time I have ever seen a picture of her older than 20 and I think that’s scary

grave-at-trenzalore:

followingthedeer:

sainthannah:

heatherbat:

stunningpicture:

‘Cause people seem to only post the 20-something Audrey Hepburn.

Audrey Hepburn was the granddaughter of a baron, the daughter of a nazi sympathizer, spent her teens doing ballet to secretly raise money for the dutch resistance against the nazis, and spent her post-film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts.

…and history remembers her as pretty.

AND HISTORY REMEMBERS HER AS PRETTY

note

this is the first time I have ever seen a picture of her older than 20 and I think that’s scary

(via lovemetoinfinity)

— 5 months ago with 598407 notes